Jude (by albie)

This is the story of how jude learnt about life. and death.
(this is by mark albie printed without his permission. i just thought it was a great story. you can see more of the ablitross @ the captain cLink over yonder - http://www.sitckypictures.co.nz)

Jude....

Spending Xmas in Taupo - Kuritau.

We decide to take the kids to see the snow with a 70 year old friend called
Stan.

Stan is Jamaican living in UK - is a great guy and is like a member of the
family now.

So there's me amy jude eva and ollie together with Stan al ready to take the
chair lift to the top.

Chairs swinging in behind each group of 2 people and swinging them away
towards the summit.

Amy and Eva step up to the line and we talk as the chair swings in behind
them to scoop them up agreeing that I should take Jude. Jude is set in his
mind he will go with his dad.

Bang eva and amy fly away - the lift takes off quickly and the ground drops
away to very quickly the mountain at this height is bare and rocks look up
from below.

Next minute the liftie looks at us and suggests we change our plan and I
carry Ollie as he's in a bck pack and a little heavy for our friend stan to
carry together with a bag that Amy had shuffled to him earlier -

We line up as we're thinking and ollie is passed to me. The chair than
swoops behind me swweping me up and on to the irreversable treadmill.

I look back and realise I have made a big mistake Jude begins to scream like
only he can. I want to go with daddy!!!!!. Stans hands are shaking - he has
a crook hip in need of replacing and is holding on to the boogie boards that
we plan to slide down the hill on...they are scooped up jude almost knocked
to the ground but stan manages to get him on the seat - he is kicking and
screaming out of control and stan has only one hand free - Amy and I are
just meters away but several more above the rocks.


Cant put down the safety barrier and amy and I are shouting at Jude to try
and snap him out of it!!

But no he kicks and screams to the very top of the lift as we watch on in
horror...

People pass on the other side of the lift smiling and waving at eva and
Ollie and then jaws dropping as they see Jude.

It was the longes 10 mins in my life .


That was my jude story

Moral - don't take kids on chair lifts till they're past terrible 2s

Explained to jude that he almost died - he is now more settled and seems to
have grown up overnight. Turning points don't just happen in film comission
scripts.

we like wednesday

we like wednesday because it snot monday and we see friday
saturday sees our first entertainment engagement
come on over to chisswick if you can
about 8pm. flat is providing drinks so just bring yo ass
what else?
alana was wondering who you are/were. any ideas?
feedback is useful. close the loop
do you like ping pong? alana does.
highlights included:
coriander and prawn dim sum
but sum dim waiters upset clear and she was unclear how to respond.
she was feeling a little hypoglycaemic.
but now she is going to oxford. do you think they wear oxfords?
jon was late for his 100 year old sausage. wine always helps.
our next station is ravenscourt park. after that is stamford brook. and then we are homo.

So, I decided to so a little research into the sports bras, and found this
really great site - you might want to check it out.

http://www.shockabsorber.co.uk/bounceometer/shock.html

yay.

knew yeah?

so who wants to be somewhere else?

right now the spiky crayfish, some smoked kawhai and a little gissy gold watching an east coast sunset (they do exisit!) sounds pretty fine.

this is not to say i don't appreciate nay love where i am right now (i am a little nervous about the guy at the end of the carraige professing jesus' love - just made eye contact schit - and he's not getting off @ the stop - has anyone seen the scene in heros where the train stops in time? its like that. except i have no time bending samurai.)

just that i have experienced the best in life. seems to be a pattern forming. (jesus'n'me just shook hands. didn't look too disturbed. maybe he's just 'loving life'). becuase it continues.

were sitting with some good chums in the best value vegetarian kebabland in soho (moaz anyone) reminiscing about the good ol' days, sometime back in november 2006 - remember it? no job, no house, bludging off our infinitely generous family (we love geoff and kerryn. highly recommend being related to them), contacts running out, winter coming, bottom lip a little draggy-on-the-ground... (am talking about me and la, not our chums, who had shrewdly used their clicky finger to do the talking and got jobs before they came here...). back then, gorging ourselves on the all-you-can-fit-into-an-open-kebab salad bar (olives, peppers, taboulhi mmm) thinking when will we eat again? (never got that bad... but some drama? ok.) wondering what the fahk we were doing... not that i don't stop to wonder this. don't really stop to do it. just in a constant state on wonderment... and now thanking our lucky allstars that who would think that knew yeah we would be gorging ourselves on the all-you-can-fit-into-an-open-kebab salad bar with a cool house, cool jobs and just our pasty lard bellies dragging on the ground. to recap, alana is working as an associate medical writer for a medical communications company. you can post questions about her job in the comments. she is building a FAQ at the moment, so all will be revealed. she works in ealing broadway, about 30 mins walk tube walk from our house, which is apparently kinda like a suburban city centre. go figure. i am a producer with a web production company called www.unit9.com ( minus the www and the com although it sounds kinda catchy huh?). i told them that i made a website in 1997 on angelfire (where is angelfire?) so they figured i must be pretty experienced. so now i just smile and wear cool hats so everyone thinks i am a great producer. today i am making a game for the FA cup (when i say make i mean ask someone else to do all the work), and a freakshow 'interactive world' for Dorito's (they make chips)

more on the tube later

love

updating the image

to market in monmouth with all the krustmuff gang. but where's alana? alana?




how did geoff convince kerryn to do this? geoff?


gardening @ kew with nige roland and melissa. i am the badger. (cos there were no others to be found)





coffee on sunday



love

what was that again?

merry new year! man. bet you can't match my new years stories! wow. london. wow. wow. ee. z.

started out sedately (the mood, not the bar bits you ate) @ our abode in the love.ly chisswick. nige and melissa + our flattie megan (good lass from the tron) and her friend. nibbling nibbles. drinking drinks. musicing music.

decided to flag the fireworks (where megan was headed) opting for the homely home (was way shite weather). drinking. nibbling. musicing.
after much group bondage i managed to drag the peeps from the warm interior (after nige decided that a roadie of 1/2 a bottle of 10 yo single malt was called for...)

headed on the free tube to the fabulous and dingy east, destined for the Hoxton Pimps extravaganza (roots manuva and a host of other goodies) - touted as being a multi media multi genre multi room wibble or other. all good.



first stop; south kensington. only because i spotted wobbly bryce heading out the exit door - beeline for the 1/2 square metre of garden there - promptly making himself aquainted with the various botanical samples on offer (as he is known to do) - contributing his own lovingly ejected emesus as fertiliser for the benefit of the future generation of communters. kindly melissa persuaded the helpful tube staff to give us some much appreciated water and we were off - back onto the district line and steaming towards the ditch (shoreditch). somewhere bewteen victoria and st james' park it became clear that nige had a little more to get off his chest, or at least out of his stomach... bulging cheeks barley contained by pursed lips... all in the direction of the unknowing melissa... thank gness for handy plastic cups... nige obliging by providing a very respectful specimin (again for the benefit of future generations of communters, although pity she who discovers the cup under the bench @ westminster). although it is unlikely to be discovered too soon, as only the most intrepid communter wouldn't be diverted by alana's contribution to interior colour scheme on the platform - obviously feeling that a little more claret was required on the walls, and the floor, and nige's shoe (missed the trousers, how? no one can explain. maybe the cctv footage will reveal. head to www.youtube.com/alana_technicolour_yawn01 and let us know what you think).

so, with body cavities appropriate cleared, alana negotiated boarding the sardine can tube (carefully wrapping a single stocking clad leg around the door) and the group was on again off again again again. freezing asses along deserted eastern streets, squatting where the sun don't shine (or shining where the sun don't squat?) we qued outside the pumping venue only to be turned away because we were at the wrong 'underground warehouse party at secret hoxton location'. up and down and up the streets we go. no one knows. until we figure it was the original party, except we needed to go thru the rear entry (the girls smirked at least. nige was almost up to smirking by now. but not quite.) to the orignial secret venue. right. two gigs. one venue. two tickets. one venue. right. although i discovered that although like a ghost i can pass thru most security checks (list it with my super powers. along with 1. stating the obvious and 2. falling asleep AND waking up whenever i want to.) i can't when i am a group of 4. so we were stuck in only 1/2 a gig. the doongy half. was kinda like being at an orientation gig with less beer and more pills. and more artificial grass (just happened to be an indoor football arena).

highlights included (in no particular order): um. 'i say 2000, you say 7', double egg sandwich (with FREE mustard), mr ozu's flat beat, dancing between the bbq and the heater (in the main corridor / entrance way) - definitely the floor to be on. hotdog in a hamburger bun with a hotdog in a hamburger bun. don't know where rodney smith got to. think he might have gone to the less doongy half of the gig (was really two gigs separated by a chicken wire fence).

but we have our pride. we stayed until at least 3.25, at which time we realised that the free tube was going to be turning into a pumpkin (wouldn't want to spend £1.50 if you don't have to right? that's 3 Litres of milk! yeah! or perhaps £80 on the taxi home. double prices nys eve anyone?). no-one wanted to share my milk or chrips on the ride home, with the conversation waning early in the journey.

so. after a wee de-brief with all the londoners we know, discovered that NO-ONE went out on NYs, staying @ home, or having civilised dinners around civilised candles or fleeing to far flung destinations like gissborne or perhaps mountain maunganui. so, when booking your next NYs, either don't get me to book your fun, or stay at home. i like www.myspace.com/whyisnewyearsalwaysshit . or start your own super club. you can all be on the guest list.

but really. was cool to be pretending to live in this city. almost like we were really living here. for real. and superb to have such good chums like N&M to lark with and to be able to make fun of nige and his wibble. wibblolicious.

this was all in response to Geraldine cos i reckon she would have had a rip snorter in g-town. maybe you could write us a story G? or perhaps everyone else could. that would be ace.

oh, and what of the decorative alana? thankfully monday was a very soft day, and there were dry water crackers (somewhat of an foxymoron) to nibble on (and later jolly good big burgers thanks claire!) only a little sorry for herself. my love.

krismuff

krustmuffs

and so it begins. or perhaps it should be... when will it stop?

chronology is a tiring concept at the best of times. so there goes the caution and here comes the wind. retro is the new retro right? or something. so it is now. the end of the calendar and finally the concept of a new year makes sense. thanks northern hemisphere.

um. news. we are. new. to chisswick. but don't say it cos people won't get it. chizzock. that's where we @. we have a good as house with 4 others - 1 couple (kiwi and scott who we haven't met yet!), kiwi lass and aussie bloke. house is pretty huge and plush by the standards established by our extensive searching throughout most of the london boroughs.... we are up kinda high but not so much that i hate the walk up the stairs (in fact i kinda pretend i am exercising)... our bedroom looks out towards the sunrise (8AM, just when i am eating my cornflakes cos i don't start till 930!). the sun slides across the horizon at a smooth 15 degree inclination, so out the same window i can see the sun set (was 4.15 when i was awoken from my first london siesta by the glowing orb). huge kitchen and living - so its cool for you to come and have dinner, or maybe stay a little while (nice little dossing spot by the heater). yesterday we walked to the river (the thames that is) and then the cheese shop. along the way we discovered our local brewery (some fruity ale which, contrary to popular myth, is not flat and icky). all in all a nice area - feel a little lost without our baby stroller (or zimmer frame) but its easy and nice.

then you get to come to the east side where its all at. in the ditch. shore ditch. sssshhhhh ... it's shore ditch. i am working east and its fabulous. kinda like cuba st with a couple of bypasses already put thru, ripped up, built on, put thru again and then forgotten about. nice blend of decrepitude and style (all in the beholders eye of course!) - i work in the most picturesque part - Hoxton Square thanks - regular village square - grass, trees, no squirrels... i should really go and enjoy it. but the lure of the internet is too great. there is so much to do! check emails. check emails. download updates. check for new music. find a game. play a game. check emails. send emails. make phone calls. draw a flow diagram (i knew engineering would come in handy). eat chocolate (cos its christmas - did i mention that?). my job is acer than ace. although its kinda tough and most of the time i don't know what i am doing. but everyone smiles and laughs at my jokes. but i am excited about the things i am learning and the power for global domination that it brings. soon, not only will i be able to control all televsision, but also all of teh internet too. very powerful. i think its called new media. or something.

i will let alana tell her story as she is much better than i.

right now its 9pm and i am half way thru my tube (1 change) ride home. good time for emails and blogs huh? alana is cooking me dinner and then we will talk about our day and then probably play twister. sometimes we visit our friends. we have 2. or so. nige and melissa live about 15 mins away, so lotsa good catching up with them. and ARE making other friends. not just new zealanders. but really the people most like new zealanders cos really they are the best people in the world. sad but true. nothing like bit of one eyed myopia.

what else? this is the part where i try to connect with you individually. how are YOU? i probably miss you. and would love to come over for a barbie and a bevvie. or two. i think you can post them though. 72F Chisswick high rd. W4 1SY. London. easy.

do you know anything? new or old is ok. i probably don't know it because we haven't talked for a wee while now. sorry about that. i do hope that life is a fabulous place in which you can act out your greatest dreams and fulfill your deepest desires. because if its not then its not, right? right.

what else. nothing.

now it is 10.15 and I am alana. London is pretty great and pretty crazy at the same time. I my first pay in mr pound tomorrow which will no doubt be pretty great. Jon arriving home so late can be attributed to the pretty crazy side of things. After living in each others pockets (along with spare change, chewing gum and the ubiquitous travel map) since leaving nz in april, this past month in London has been a bread and water fast. i miss our mid afternoon siestas!

what else? jon's pants are now see-through which is rather thrilling. cheap.tho.it may.be (i don't get to see much of him, but when I do...)

My job is a job. i don't love it like jon loves his job hence i get home lots earlier to cook tea. the people at my work are pretty nice, lots of science nerds who are scared of the c word (that would be creativity) and lots of regular ol' englishies who're all rather nice 'n proper. yeah. init. Some days my brain hurts from all the thinking i'm inflicting on it. this can't possibly be good for me in the long run so i'll have to convince them to create (theres that c word again) a science for dummies role just for me. this would be acer.

one day i plan to paint a picture or two, learn more italian, take dancing lessons and plan whirlwind weekend trips to europe. For now I'm content to knit my way to work and back, on my overgound-underground-train. (4 tube stops @ 2 min per stop ain't a bad commute for this town)

London feels like a good place to be. right now. it is a long way from home. and will take a long time to feel like home. if ever. but for now it is our home. and I'm likin' it.

I wonder, like jon does, what it is you do and how and why and when and where and do you have skype? coz its really wicked and we'd love to talk to you.

what else? I have learnt that while the charm in brick is limited, fog never ceases to enchant.

and so, ho ho, a big fat minus five merry ol' norther krismus blowing at you, I guess. Be a gem and send us a little summer. lovin. jalaha